Never a Good Time to Purge

#SOL16 Day 14Screen Shot 2016-03-01 at 5.11.16 PM

Sometimes our slices are a little messy. Yesterday’s definitely fit that bill. It was a dance competition weekend for my daughter. On this Sunday she was competing in three different dances spread across the entire day. My husband rarely had the opportunity to see her because he was usually schlepping hockey gear to some frosty ice arena or driving to soccer pitches with our son. (I honestly don’t know how single parents do it!) On this day, however, we made transportation arrangements for our son so my husband and I could both attend one of my daughter’s last dance events in her senior year.

Just before one of her afternoon dances, our son calls. “Murphy (our dog) ate a bag of dark chocolate! I’ve got to get to my soccer game, what should I do?

Ugh! I had a million questions, “What bag of dark chocolate? How much was in it? Did he eat it all? What’s he doing now? Did any of the other animals eat any?” to which my son worriedly replied “I don’t know, but my ride is here!”

I told him to put the dogs in the crate and as soon as he got home he’d need to let them out. I texted a friend who came right over to  check on them. She reported that Murphy was fine and he did ‘his business’ as usual. What a sense of relief!

We watched my daughter take the stage, holding hands, my cheeks slightly damp…my heart beaming with pride. Afterward my husband and I drive to a spot nearby to grab a bite to eat and enjoy some of the lovely weather before returning to the auditorium. Again my son calls.

There’s puke all over the house! It’s all over the counters, in the tub, and all over the living room! I put the dogs out and tried to clean it up, but Murphy keeps puking and so do the cats! This is too stressful! I covered it up with paper towels and my friend is going to be here in like 30 seconds to pick me up!”

Sense of relief replaced with panic. We can’t leave. My daughter is about to dance again and then we have to wait for the awards ceremony. Where is my clone? I hand the phone to my husband because I can’t believe my son is ready to walk out on that situation. He’ll talk some sense into him.

“Yeah…ok…what time?…Ok…put the dogs in the crate…we’ll be home around 10:00…we’ll pick you up on our way home.”

WHAT? He’s leaving our dogs? Our cats? Our home? Ok, I gave him the phone to handle it, so I have no right to second guess him. We stay and watch our daughter dance her solo and then she frantically works on homework until the awards ceremony.

Flash forward to 10:15. We walk in the door and there are the piles of paper towels my son told us about. We lift them up and there are black stains the size of  basketballs in three different places in the living room. There is my Murphy covered in black puke in his crate. But wait, there are bonus splatters of black vomitus in other carpeted rooms of the house. The good news is it wasn’t dark chocolate. The bad news is it was black candy making melts.

We assess the disaster area. “Quick, Google ‘how to get food dye out of carpet’!”

  1. Clean up any kind of stain in your carpet as soon as you notice it. …
  2. Gently blot any excess spill with a paper towel. …
  3. Wet a dry stain with a little cool water. …
  4. Make a solution of one tablespoon white vinegar, one tablespoon liquid hand dishwashing detergent and two cups  of warm water.

I’m guessing 6 hours later is not “as soon as you notice it”. Covering the mess with paper towels is not the same as blotting. Seriously…NO vinegar in the whole house on a Sunday night after the stores have closed!? Quick…more Google searches.

Soak for 15 minutes in mixture of 1 quart lukewarm water, one-half teaspoon liquid hand dishwashing detergent and one tablespoon ammonia.

Does Windex count as ammonia? It does tonight. By midnight we are exhausted. The black diminished to varying shades of grey. We trudge to bed, not at all hopeful that we’ll awake to a miracle ablution. But our pets are ok.  My husband is my rock! My daughter is a beautiful dancer.      My son…he’s toast!

Murphy and Tubbie


13 thoughts on “Never a Good Time to Purge

  1. I’m sorry to laugh, but you tell a great story! I’ve also been in this situation with children watching over pets, so this is so relatable, and funny almost 10 years later. Best of luck getting the rest of the house cleaned up to the extent you can.

  2. Oh dear Lord, what a nightmare to come home to! I enjoyed how you shared your thoughts and responses each step of the way. Enough detail to let us understand the big picture without cluttering it up.

    I once had a dog eat my friend’s bag of candy. I baked her a cake in apology. Yep. Dog ate that too.

  3. I’m so lucky that our dog is outside most of the day. I can only remember cleaning up after my son maybe twice – can’t imagine dog vomit . . . ugggh!

    Cleaning up the right way . . . not even matching pictures between males / females! Good luck!

  4. Such an entertaining slice! Your dogs are such cuties, which is good to remember especially in times like this. My little Puggle loves to help herself to chocolate whenever she can sniff some out in a bedroom or backpack. Her stomach must be made of steel though, because nothing ever happens.

  5. Thoroughly enjoyed this. Your story was so well-told, capturing the all the emotions and humor of the situation. Hope you get things back to normal quickly!

  6. Paula!!! Oh my gosh!! So sorry to hear about this! Poor kitties and pups and you too!!! So sorry you had to go through this! Glad the animals are okay!!! Snuggle them extra for me ❤

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