This is my mantra for the year. It is a truth I see realized around me and in me.
There is science and parable behind this concept.
The parable stems from the story of a grandfather telling his grandson, “There are two wolves inside of us. One represents courage, love, and kindness and the other fear, hate, and greed. The wolves are always at battle in us.”
The boy asks, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?”
The grandfather looks at his grandson and wisely replies, “The one you feed.“
I feel those wolves battling it out everyday when I feel frustrated by situation or circumstance. One wolf wants me to choose anger and reprisal while the other one pushes for empathy and understanding. One wolf sees a glass half empty and the other sees the glass half full (or even all full). I wish my default were always the kind and brave wolf, but it is not yet automatic. I haven’t fed it enough–YET. I need to pause, take a step back and make a choice of which one I want to feed in these circumstances.
There is a science behind this as well. Our social-emotional systems function in a feedback loop where our output influences our input. An example may be when we hold onto resentment it influences how we perceive that person or situation and it reinforces those feelings. Hate begets hate. We can recognize this when we hear ourselves or others exclaim, “Nothing ever goes right.”or “This class never listens.” We are in a negative feedback loop that influences our perceptions of all events with a singular, painful lens.
We may not be able to change our circumstance, but luckily, we have the power to shift our perceptions. Our output can influence our input. We can choose which wolf to feed. When we feel like nothing is going right, we can ask ourselves, “Was I kind to someone?” That’s going right. “Did I persevere and make it to school today?” That’s going right. Maybe someone in class actually did listen. Maybe that class isn’t good at listening (yet) but they are good at something else. Maybe we can stop thinking of the class as one monolithic group and recognize the tender souls who make up the composition. Focus our energy and attention on their uniqueness and worth.
I’m not saying, Be Pollyanna. I’m saying what we feed grows. Our choices are growing the wolves inside of us each and every day. Pay attention and choose the wolf you want to feed.
I’ve found a podcast that I think will help me with this awareness; it is called THE ONE YOU FEED. They also have a Facebook Group for those who would like to continue the conversation from the weekly podcasts. If you have other resources that could support us in our quest for a more meaningful life in and out of school, please feel free to share in the comments. We could all use more food for our wolf.
One More Off My TBR Stack!
I LOVE YOU, MICHAEL COLLINS by Lauren Baratz-Logsted
It’s 1969. The whole world is awaiting the launch of Apollo 11. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin are going to walk on the moon-they are the heroes to everyone in Mamie’s class. Yet she thinks Michael Collins, the 3rd astronaut on the journey who will stay will the command module, and not get a chance to walk on the moon, is the best one. She decides to write a series of letters to Michael Collins as he prepares for the trip and continues to write him as he is in space. However, her letters are not those of a star-struck fan, but of a girl trying to come to grips with a serious family crisis as the world comes together for the biggest event of their lifetime. The weaving of storylines, and the theme that minor characters have stories that are equally important and compelling as main characters really drew me in. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this historical fiction-and how much I learned. An MSBA nominee for 2018-19.