I was up for hours, knowing she was heading back this morning. She came down the stairs and made a quick breakfast. The dogs huddled around her feet as she tried to shuffle through the kitchen.
“Need any help?”
“Nah. I got it.”
She knelt down and rub her hand across Murphy’s back. He knows something’s up. He’s been loving that lap of hers all week long. She’s not sitting down. There’s no lap to leap on. She’s buzzing around without lighting.
She heads back upstairs. I wait a few minutes before following. Her bags are packed and stacked neatly in her room. Her Baboo sits atop the pile. He’s been her stuffed companion since infancy. “No bear buddy left behind”.
“Want me to carry some down?”
We lug a week’s worth of clothes, textbooks, and “stuff” down to the door and plop it in a pile. The dogs rush over to sniff and check it out. She sits on the floor and they rush to her. Murphy snuggles in tight. Tubbie jumps about, snorting and wiggling. Oreo meows and joins the group hug. She soaks it up…getting her fix of furry love for the next six weeks.
“Ok. You ready, dad?” She hoists her back back and adjusts a bag on her shoulder. She hugs her Baboo close. I snap a last minute selfie and plant a kiss on her cheek.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
She and her dad walk to the van, loaded down. I stand in the doorway, loaded down. This is what all my parenting has been about. “You’ve done a good job,” I tell myself. Success doesn’t always feel so good…at least not in moments like this.
7 thoughts on “Successful Parenting Stings”
This must be so hard to watch your daughter head back to school. I think you worded your feelings perfectly. Yes, success at this moment might not feel good, but just know in your heart that it will feel better soon. Hold onto your memories of all the great times you have spent with your daughter.
What a very sweet story. You did an excellent job conveying the struggle you are having. I know so many college students who left, only to move back a few weeks later because they couldn’t hack it. Just that she is heading back speaks volumes. You’ve obviously done a good job.
So true and real. I love the line “I stand in the doorway loaded down.” Great slice!
You have done a WONDERFUL job! Keep being the amazing mom you are!
Thanks Jenna. We’ve been very lucky with our kiddos!
I know this feeling all too well my friend. It feels good to be needed, but if we do our job correctly we are not needed (but being WANTED is sure nice and welcome)… I really like your title!
I knew you could understand, Laura. I love how you distinguish between being NEEDED and being WANTED. I think the latter is so much better!